When ya want the best...

[Slartibartfast]

...might as well go to the Xperts.

Well guys, run away now because I'm writing again. I never was happy with that ultra-long thing I wrote a while back, so it's going through a massive rewrite.

I'm going to ask a a couple things of you marvelous people:
1- I'm gonna bump that story back up to the top. If ya will I want ya'll to reread or skim or try to remember it and post critism here. Real criticism. Be brutal, I can take it, I'm a journalist. I had a chick call me a negligent bitch just the other day... I just really want to know what's wrong with it.

2- I want to be right on my history and continuity, and a lot of the books I need the answers from I don't have access to anymore. So, I wanna ask you Nighty experts some questions.

If you'll help me, I'll love you all forever. Well, too late for that, so I guess I'll just have to say thanks...and want some more ice cream?



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===={::??@m??::}====
~Award-winning designer of Norway's lovely crinkly edges.~

[Slartibartfast]

Okay, the biggest thing that bothered me about this fic, aside from the craptacular ending, was the way Kurt used that chick like she were a day-old paper towel. He did, there's no denying it. But. What if there were consequences later down the line for his actions there. And what if he wasn't the only one doing the using.

That's the gist of my rewrite. I'm expanding the story and bringing part of it forward into Claremont's six month gap too. It's gonna be hella long, but this one has a plan going out unlike the original. Parts will be the same but the whole meaning will change and hopefully, be better and in the end more true to character.

That's why I want to know what's bad about the original, and what's good. I've got a lot of crap to jettison and I want more opinions but my own on how to do it.

Now I have some book questions.

1- How much was shown of the time Kurt was in a coma? It was from the end of the massacre to the X-Men's 'death' in Dallas, but did they come back to him from time to time. Did they ever show Amanda, or anyone else, visiting him, or were they together at the time?

2- I can't get to my Excalibur 125. When Kurt announced he was going back to the X-Men, did he talk to Peter and Kitty about it beforehand, or did he just say he was leaving and come with me if you want?

I've got more, but it's late and I forgot...duhhh.

[Blueflame]

Okay I think I'd have to read it again to critisize- but in all honesty I would not expect much from me- I am a horible critic.

1) I dunno. *shrugs shoulders*

2) I know this one!! He didnt inform any one it was from what I gathered a spur of the moment kinda thing... I suppose he could have but it wasnt in the mag.

[Jyuu-chan]

Well, I'm not knowledgeable enough to help with the accurate facts bit of it, but I would be happy to critique.

I just copy/paste the whole thing into a word file... I hadn't realized how long this thing was! *toddles off to read it*

Jyuu-chan

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===={::??@m??::}====
"Love makes you want to stab people? That's not love. That's brain damage."

[Drags]

Okey dokey Slarti old pal Ill re-read the story tommorow and rip it to shreads!

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~`~`~`Dragonlady`~`~`~

[Squee22]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slartibartfast:

1- How much was shown of the time Kurt was in a coma? It was from the end of the massacre to the X-Men's 'death' in Dallas, but did they come back to him from time to time. Did they ever show Amanda, or anyone else, visiting him, or were they together at the time?
I've got more, but it's late and I forgot...duhhh.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Phew, that's a long time ago. I don't think much was shown. The issues I picked up at the time basiclaly showed the XMen continuing their fight against the Marauders but not much was shown as to what was happening back at the mansion. I've tried to find out how 1)Kurt came out of his coma, 2)Kitty stopped disappearing, 3)Piotr started moving again but I haven't had much success.

I guess Piotr recuperated faster than the other 2, as he rejoined the XMen (and "died"). I just don't remember seeing Kurt in the books again until the XMen "died" and he joined Excalibur.

[Slartibartfast]

Thanks guys!

I figured there wasn't much from his coma time. Oh well. Didn't Magneto help fix up Colossus, or I am thinking about some other time? Didn't Kitty have to go to Reed Richards? I don't remember. Ugh...too...long...ago...

Thanks too to everybody who said they'd critique that story. I pretty much know how I'm going to change it, but I want to know if the bad spots I see are the same ones everyone else does.


[This message has been edited by Slartibartfast (edited July 12, 2001).]

[gnahrf]

Love your name Slartibartfast, but I love the way Adams pronounced it even more.


Well, for the coma thingie... I don't know if you still want some info, but this is what I know:

? UXM 211: Rendered into coma
? NM 46: Crawler brought to the mansion
? UXM 212: Storm is standing by Kurt, thinking: "Look at me, Nightcrawler. Say a word, please - smile. I miss - I need - your laughter."
? UXM 213: Psylocke psi-scans the mansion, when she comes upon the comastosis NC she thinks: "Nightcrawler is so terribly wounded - so deep in coma - that I cannot percieve even a flicker of awareness."
? Excalibur (Graphic Novel): He's wide awake! (Handy dandy, or what?)

If something is between those issues, I haven't read it, but I can say without lying that I don't like when they exclude Nightcrawler like that!

[Drags]

Well Slarti I read your story again and to be honest I still like it as much as I did before and I still dont have any complaints--except one--Kurt seemed to kind of have,I dunno,have an attitude.Wich seemed kind of out of character with me.I agree with you that he was pretty cold with Alyza.I really dont have much else to point out.

And your right hardly anything happened with Kurt while he was in his coma.Callisto,Storm and Colossus mentioned him the issue after he was injured but he wasnt mentioned at all after that.Not even any appearance of Kurt until he woke up.Both Dr.doom and Reed Richards combined they're efforts to save Kitty in the Fantastic Four vs.X-Men mini.To be honest I dont remember how Colossus got better.I think he just got better naturally and more quickly than the others because hes stronger.Well Amanda didnt make an appearance inquiring about Kurt for
a looong time.That could have something to do with the tiff they had not long before the massacre.Infact no one ever told her what happened(atleast not on panel).Actually I thought she was left out in the cold until she showed up at the lighthouse looking for him in Uncanny during the "Muir Island Saga" where the X-Men battled the Shadow King.Brigader Stewart informed her of Excaliburs disapearence--this took place during the "Cross Time Caper" and that she didnt know when they would return.Amanda ended up joining up with the X-Men for a very brief time.

I know this was probably more information than you needed,but I was on a roll.

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~`~`~`Dragonlady`~`~`~

[Drags]

Hey gnahrf I didnt see your post!I also didnt like the way Kurt AND Kitty were tossed away like that either.

But now that I look back on it I think its a good thing.I think Kurt was at his best in Excalibur.He finaly was reaching his potential.If Kurt stuck with the X-Men he would have been probably still been overshadowed by Wolverine,Rogue and CCs beloved Storm.Plus he would have probably also lost his sense of humor and become as dark and brooding as they did.

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~`~`~`Dragonlady`~`~`~